


Calendar Boi

by old_anorak



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Explicit Language, Humor, M/M, Parody, Sexual Content, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-19
Updated: 2005-10-19
Packaged: 2018-09-30 23:21:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10174844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/old_anorak/pseuds/old_anorak
Summary: This is a coming out fic written for the kardassi wave 9 challenge. It is Harry discovering a side of Professor Snape he didn't know about





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

Title: Calendar Boi   
Author: sevs_lil_secret  
Rating: R  
Pairing: Harry and Severus and the Easter Bunny  
Disclaimer: JKR owns them until I manage to scrape up enough pennies to buy them from her. The plot however is mine and so are any and all wonderful positions they may find themselves in.  
Feedback: please email me at sevs_lil_secret@yahoo.com  
Beta: the delightful unbroken_halo  
Archive: Part of the From Dusk till Dawn Severus Snape/Harry Potter   
Fuh-Q-Fest at http://www.kardasi.com/HPSS/storyindex.htm   
Challenge: Coming Out IX

 

 

Harry Potter sat at his normal spot at the head table in the front of the Great Hall during the morning meal. Half awake, he sleepily sipped his tea as the owls began to swoop in delivering the morning post. Hedwig landed neatly in front of him bearing several letters and one brown paper wrapped flat parcel. Absentmindedly he gave the owl one of his rashers and plucked the parcel up in his hand and turned it over, looking for a clue as to where it had come from. Ah there was the return address.

A Fancy For Every Month  
Calendars For the Discerning Wizard  
London, England

Harry’s face pinked a bit; he’d been waiting for this for some time now. He’d almost forgotten he’d even ordered it from the advert he’d found in the back of that tawdry magazine at Fred’s flat. Swiftly he tucked it into his robes to open later, he had no idea what to expect and he damn sure wasn’t about to open it here in front of everyone on staff.

That would be just what he needed, not only would his colleagues know it was possibly a nude calendar, but maybe even be one with men. Oh yes, he’d be The Queer That Killed Voldemort With A Feather Boa, he could just imagine Snape’s heyday with that revelation.

Quickly finishing the rest of his tea, he excused himself from the table and hurried to his empty classroom and locked the door, thankful his first period was free. 

With a furtive glance around, he pulled the flat parcel out of his robes and ripped the brown wrapping off. There it was. A real GAY calendar with real GAY men posing. Wow. Holding his breath, Harry slowly lifted the cover to gaze at the man who was frolicking in the picture for January. Oh my, wasn’t he cold wearing nothing but a scarf and stocking cap in the snow?

Licking his lips nervously, Harry blinked slowly and turned to February to find a lovely young man rolling about in a bed of rose petals, looking up at him invitingly. A low moan left Harry’s lips as he watched the wanton display. 

Feeling his body start to respond, he quickly flipped the page to March and found a good looking man on his knees in a patch of rich black dirt. His pert backside up in the air as he was busy planting his posies.

“Oh mercy,” Harry muttered as he gave himself a quick squeeze through his robes. He had had no idea a calendar could be so stimulating when he’d ordered this. 

He flipped the next page and nearly flung the damn thing away from him in terror and shock. His eyes widened in realization. Oh Merlin’s balls, it couldn’t be. Harry looked closer. Oh Merlin it was, it really fucking was.

April was Severus Snape in bunny ears, a little fluffy tail, and holding a strategically placed basket of brightly coloured eggs hopping around amongst the daisies. The man was…positively edible. Harry quickly slammed the calendar shut, shoving it into his desk drawer before smacking his head onto the top of his desk.

Severus Snape was posing for a gay calendar. This was priceless. And the man had the gall to castigate him for everything he did or said. This was too good to pass up. Harry sat back up with an evil smirk on his face and wondered just how to use this to his advantage. To his knowledge, no one there at Hogwarts knew that either man was gay. Not to mention, Snape had no idea that Harry found him attractive in the least. 

Harry opened the drawer again and slowly pulled the calendar out again, letting it fall open to the month of April again. Yes, there was Snape in all his ivory glory, smooth planes of lean muscles down those flanks. Harry sighed wishing the damned basket of eggs would drop or simply disappear. He wanted to see the stirring rod the Potions Master sported.

He thought for the rest of the hour about just how to deal with this interesting situation, when the perfect idea came to him. A slow grin spread over his face as he worked out exactly how to let his former Professor know he was gay and definitely interested in him.

The rest of the day passed quickly as Harry made his preparations for the evening meal. He waited until Snape was seated in his normal spot before he slipped into the side door. He cleared his throat and waited until Snape turned to look at him, smirking as he saw the obsidian eyes widen and a small smile play over those thin lips.

Harry took his first steps forward and began to sing off key with a set of bunny ears on his head.

Here comes Peter Cottontail,   
Hoppin' down the bunny trail,   
Hippity, hoppity,   
Easter's on its way. 

Bringin' every girl and boy Baskets full of Easter joy,   
Things to make your Easter bright and gay.   
He's got jelly beans for Tommy,   
Colored eggs for sister Sue,   
There's an orchid for your Mommy   
And an Easter bonnet, too. 

Oh! here comes Peter Cottontail,   
Hoppin' down the bunny trail,   
Hippity hoppity,   
Happy Easter day. 

Here comes Peter Cottontail,   
Hoppin' down the bunny trail,   
Look at him stop,   
and listen to him say:   
"Try to do the things you should."   
Maybe if you're extra good,   
He'll roll lots of Easter eggs your way. 

You'll wake up on Easter morning   
And you'll know that he was there   
When you find those choc'late bunnies   
That he's hiding ev'rywhere. 

Oh! here comes Peter Cottontail,   
Hoppin' down the bunny trail,   
Hippity hoppity,   
Happy Easter day. 

As the song ended Harry sat his little basket of eggs down right in front of Severus and slid into the seat next to him. The Great Hall was silent as they watched Professor Snape, the most feared man at Hogwarts, reach into the basket and retrieve a crème filled egg, which he then cracked open and offered the sweet to the little Harry Bunny next to him.

“Are you my little fluffy bit of tail, Potter?” Severus smirked as he sucked one of his long fingers clean of the sweet crème.


End file.
